Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.

Is forbidden to steal Hotel towels.   If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notice     Tokyo Hotel

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
     Bucharest Hotel Lobby:

Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.  Leipzig elevator

To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
     Belgrade Hotel elevator

Please leave your values at the front desk.
     Paris Hotel elevator

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
      Athens Hotel

 The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
      Yugoslavian Hotel

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.  Japanese Hotel

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
      Moscow Hotel Lobby sign near
      Russian Orthodox monastery.

Not to perambulate the corridors during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
     Austrian skiers Hotel

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
     Swiss restaurant menu

Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
     Rhodes tailor shop

Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
     Polish Hotel Menu

Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
     Hong Kong tailor shop

Drop your trousers here for best results.
     Bangkok dry cleaners

Dresses for street walking.
     Paris dress shop

There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
     Soviet Weekly

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose          Germany's Black Forest

Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
     Zurich Hotel

Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
      Hong Kong dentist advertisement

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
     Rome laundry

Take one of our horse-driven city tours we guarantee no miscarriages.
     Czechoslovakian tourist agency

Would you like to ride on your own ass ?
     Thailand donkey rides

Special today -- no ice cream.
     Swiss mountain inn

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man  Bangkok temple

Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.   Tokyo bar

We take your bags and send them in all directions.
     Copenhagen airline ticket office

If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to.
     Moscow Hotel room door

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.       Norwegian cocktail lounge

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable give it to the guard on duty.  Budapest zoo.

Specialist in women and other diseases.
      Roman doctor’s office.

The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
      Acapulco Hotel:

Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run            Tokyo shop

For Cooles and Heates:       If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
      Japanese information booklet explaining using a Hotel air conditioner

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
     Tokyo car rental

English well speaking -

Here speaking American.
      Moroccan shop entrance: